Living in a Dream
by SadieG
Summary: Buffy and Willow have a car accident, they both survive, they lives their lives, Buffy gets married to Spike and has children, and everything is perfect, then after seven years, one night she falls asleep and wakes up in her hospital bed,‘Huh wh…wha
1. Preperations

Living In A Dream  
  
Preparations (1)

Buffy and Willow walk down the street of Sunnydale, on their way to the bakery,

'So what sort of cake you planning on getting?' Willow asks as she opens the door to the bakery,

'Chocolate!' Buffy squeals as she enters the bakery and sees a big chocolate chic cake behind on the glass of the counter, she jogs over to it and stares at it with a smile on her face,

'So I guess you want chocolate cake' Willow says teasingly, Buffy smirks at her,

'May I help you madam?' asks a woman coming out the back behind the counter, Buffy smiles,

'I'd like that one' Buffy says pointing at the chocolate cake, she fell in love with when she first saw it, the woman smiles,

'If you would like to choose a box and I will wrap it for you' the woman says pointing to the row of different coloured boxes on the shelf, Buffy looks at the row of boxes and sees a pink one,

'Willow what about the pink one?' she asks pointing at it with a grin on her face, Willow looks at it and smiles,

'Uh Buffy, you think Spike will like it?; she asks teasingly, Buffy smirks,

'Yeh I guess your right… how bout this one' she asks and points at a orange box with pink spots, she grins at Willow's expression, 'I was joking Will' she says with a side grin, she turns to the woman at the counter who had the cake all ready to be packed,

'I'll take that baby blue one' she says, the woman grabs the box and puts the cake inside it,

'That'll be £29.99 please' the woman says passing the cake to Buffy, Buffy gives her the money,

'Thanx' she says and takes the cake,

'Come back soon' the woman says smiling politely and heading into the back, Buffy and Willow leave the shop and head down the street to another shop.

An hour later, Buffy and Willow get home, they have arms full of shopping bags, Buffy takes the cake into the kitchen and sets in down on to breakfast bar, Willow takes all the bags to Buffy's room and goes back down stairs to the kitchen,

'Well that was a good day' she says entering the kitchen,

'Yah, got all the decorations, got the cake, got everything we need' she says as she pours a cup of juice out, Willow takes the drink and looks at Buffy,

'Yah everything except, you know uh Spike' she says taking a drink, Buffy smirks,

'Funny, Will real funny' she says and walks into the living room, Willow follows and flops down on the couch, Buffy grabs the remote and starts flipping through the channels.

'Hey Spike, what's happening?' Gunn asks walking up to him in the café, Spike was sitting there staring into space, he hadn't touched his decaf and it was now cold,

'Uh Spike hellooo' Gunn says waving his hand in front of his face, Spike still doesn't respond,

'Hey!' Gunn yells and smacks him upside the head,

'Ai!' Spike yells and waves his arms up to cover his head, 'Whats that about mate?' he asks, angrily, Gunn smirks and sits down,

'That was to get you out of your daydream' he says looking at his decaf, 'Looks like you needed it too' he says lifting his nose up at the drink, it was cold and didn't look to appetising, Spike shakes his head,

'Ahh man this is…'

'Hard work?' Gunn finishes as a question, Spike snorts,

'Huh yeh I guess, god, Buffy is off doing all the work, but still this is soo stressful, I mean I love her, I love her to death, I would do anything for her, I would die for her, I will never love anyone like I love her and I promise I will make her happy' Gunn looks confused, he scrunches his eyebrows to his eyes,

'Soo what's the problem' he asks, Spike stands up,

'This, I have to wear this?' he yells, his voice unsure, and sounding as if he were asking a question, Gunn starts laughing he hadn't noticed Spike wearing a tux, he looked a lot different than his normal clothing, black trousers, black top, black shoes and well everything black, except his hair which was a bleach blond colour, he really did look different, Gunn calms down and looks at Spike who did not have an amused expression on his face,

'Uh sorry man, you look great, what are you worrying about?' he says standing up and circling Spike to get a better look, Spike sighs,

'This isn't me, and I hate tux, suits, anything formal, why cant I wear my normal cloths' he wines and flops back in his chair,

'Ohh careful Spike don't want to ruin your lovely tux, do you' Gunn says teasing to how Spike just flopped onto his seat, Spike sends him a warning look, then smirks,

Gunn laughs and soon Spike joins in.

After 10 minutes, Gunn notices the time, it was 4pm, they had to make sure the girls were back from their shopping trip, they get up from the table and head out the shop, and over to Buffy's house.

'Hye Anya what are you doing here?' Buffy asks cheerfully as one of her best friends walks into her house, Anya smiles,

'Here to see all the goodies you bought today, can I see them pleasssse?' she wines like a little kid at Christmas, Anya was like a child at heart she was very material and loved money, but she was a good friend to Buffy, who she could trust, Buffy giggles and closes the door,

'Sure Ahn, hey Will!' she calls to Willow who was still watching tele, Willow gets up and walks over to Buffy,

'Hey Anya' Anya grins happily,

'I'm here to see the goods' she says eager, Willow looks at Buffy who was hiding her grin, well trying to, Willow giggles and walks up stairs,

'Come on then' she says looking back at Anya, who clapped her hands happily as she ran up after Willow.

Buffy looks up at her friends running up the stairs and shakes her head smiling,

'I love you two' she says and heads back into the living room.

Spike came through the door as Buffy flopped onto the seat, she hadn't noticed him and carried on watching TV, he strolled over to her without a word or sound, then when he was close enough he bent over and….

'Hi Spike' she says plainly hiding her smile, he smirks and stands back up

'Knew I couldn't surprise you' she smiles, and jumps up, she walks over to him and he wraps his arms around her waist,

'What was the surprise?' she asks looking into his crystal blue eyes, he moves his head back so he can see her better, and smirks,

'What do you want it to be' and does a cheeky grin, she loved that grin, she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him closer to her,

'This' she whispers as she gives him a passionate kiss, as they separate, he chuckles,

'Alright, but technically that wasn't a surprise from me I still owe you one ' he teasing pouts, then smirks, and pulls her closer to him again and gives her another kiss, they again separate and she smiles,

'Ahh I love surprise' she says, he grins,

'Well then we should do them more often' she smiles

'Defiantly' she says nodding her head in agreement.

'Spike!!!' came a squealing voice, Anya ran down the stairs and into the living room where Buffy and Spike were,

'Hey pet' he says, she smiles,

'You should see all the goodies' she says happily, Spike smiles and turns to Buffy, she smiles innocently, he chuckles and heads upstairs,

'Anya, you do know most of them 'goodies' are a surprise, you know presents for Spike' Buffy says almost angry but couldn't help smiling, Anya looks guilty,

'Oooppps'she turns to the stairs 'Willow keep Spike away from the goods' she says shouting upstairs and turns back to Buffy with a big smile, Buffy laughs and heads upstairs with Anya behind her.

'Lemme in red' Spike yells through the door,

'No!' Willow yells out after locking the door to keep Spike out,

'If you don't I'll take back your invitation' he says teasing,

'Spike!' Buffy squeals coming up the stairs you're such a poor loser, blackmailing Willow to let you in' she says hitting him playfully on the arm,

'Yeh, mean!' she says through the door, she sounds muffled because of the door being in the way but what she is saying can be heard, Spike chuckles, then pulls Buffy into his embrace, and pouts

'Please' he says doing his puppy dog eyes impression,

'Oh no not that trick Buffy look away no one can resist the Puppy eyes' Anya says putting her hands over Buffy eyes from behind her, Buffy giggles,

'Anya' she says playfully,

'Alright but don't say I didn't warn you' she says and takes her hands away from her eyes, Buffy looks at Spike who was in the same pose as he was before, she smirked and lowered her head and looked up into his eyes, she bit her lip and then moved her head to his ear, he smiled thinking she had given in,

'Not gunna work' she whispers in his ear, she backs away and looks at him, his expression had changed and she laughed at his new expression,

'Alright Spike' she said tilting her head back in laughter, Spike looked at her bare neck and smirked, Spike moved his head to her neck and kissed it passionately and softly which tickled her, which made her laugh even harder, Anya rolled her eyes and smiled,

'Gte a room' she says walking to the door,

'Willow let me in hun' she says nocking on the door, Willow opened the door slightly,

'Is Spike still there?' she says poking her head through, Anya turns to see Spike still kissing Buffy neck, and rolls her eyes again then looks back at Willow,

'He's a bit busy at the moment' Willow opens the door and lets Anya in.

'Wanna get a room?' Spike asks smirking at Buffy, Buffy looks at him and blushes,

'Id love to' she says, Spike was about to take her to his room, but she stopped,

'But we still have a lot to do' she smiled teasingly, Spike smirked at her little misleading comment, he walked closer to her and bent his head to her ear,

'But that's not as fun' he whispers in her ear, she smiles,

'But it has to be done, Spike, now come on' she says grabbing his hand and dragging him downstairs, Anya and Willow hear them go and know that their queue to start wrapping his presents, while she did everything else that needed doing.

Buffy dragged Spike all the way down to the kitchen him still pouting teasingly, she dropped his hand as they reached the kitchen, she walked over to where she put the cake and picked it up, she put it in front of Spike who was now sitting on a stool, she lifted the lid of the box and showed Spike,

'Whatcha think?' she asks walking round to his side, Spike looked at the cake then at her,

'I love it' he said and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, she let him pull her closer and just leaned forward on to him, Spike poked his finger in the cake and got a bit of the chocolate and put it to her mouth, Buffy smiled and opened her mouth and licked the chocolate of his finger,

'Mmmm, that's nice' she said finishing the it, Spike smiles,

'Lets have a taste' he says and leans in to kiss her, she smiles and kisses him deep on the lips, they pull away,

'Well?' she asks smiling, he grins,

'Its perfect'

'Yo Spike!' Gunn called from the hallway, Spike looked up and saw him,

'Hey Gunn' he says as he comes into the kitchen,

'Hey' Buffy says sweetly ad gives him a hug,

'Hey Buff' he says hugging her back, 'Where's Willow?' he asks as they separate,

'She's…' Buffy was about to say she's upstairs when she came running down the stairs,

'Here I am' she squeals running into Gunn's arms, Gunn hugs her and kisses her on the head,

'Hey Baby' he says, she smiles, and kisses him on the lips softly, Buffy smiles, Spike sees Buffy's happiness for her two friends and smiles, god she's gorgeous how did I end up with a girl like her, she's perfect, I'm never letting her go he thought, Buffy looked at him,

'You ok?' she asks, he smiles,

'Yah love, I'm fine'

**A week later**

Spike walks down to the corner shop, where he buys beers and champagne, he then leaves the shop and goes of the mall to meet the girls,

'Hey there per' he says walking up to Buffy and her friends,

'Hey' Buffy says happily and gives him a hug,

'Where going to get something to eat, be back soon Buffy' Willow says walking of with Anya, Buffy nods her head and looks back at Spike,

'So?' she says sorta nodding her head,

'So…' Spike repeats,

'What champagne you get?' she asks sitting down on the nech, Spike sits next to her and opens the bag, he pulls out a bottle of the dearest champagne and shows Buffy,

'Ohhh, yay, I love this one' she squeals happily and gives him another hug, he pouts it back into the bag,

'And in return for getting you the most expensive champagne in the store, I want something' he says with his cheeky grin, Buffy smirks and sits down on his lap,

'How bout me' she whispers in his ear, she looks him in the eyes, and he smirks,

'Perfect' and he gives her a passionate kiss.

**2 days later**

'I Love you' Buffy says smiling at Spike,

'I Love you too, pet'

'You ready?' she asks nervously, he smirks,

'Never been more ready' and gives her a kiss.

Next Day 

''So you nervous Buffy come on admit it you're terrified' Anya says patting her on the back,

'Jeez thanx Anya, actually I am so excited, I can't wait' she says smiling,

'Well you wont have to wait much longer,' Willow says, Buffy's smile grows.

The girls are driving down the streets of Sunnydale,

'Shoot I forgot something' Buffy says stopping the car suddenly,

'What?' Anya asks looking at Buffy,

'Uh it's a surprise for Spike, Anya you go on ahead me and Will will go pick it up'

'Alright' Anya says and gets out the car, she is only down the road from where they were heading so didn't take long to get there.

Buffy turns the car around and heads back to her house,

'So what'd you forget Buffy, what's this surprise for Spike?' Willow asks as they turn the corner, Buffy looks at her and smiles,

'Ohh I know that look, fine you don't wanna tell me, I can deal'

'Alright alright, stop with the third degree' Buffy says giving in to her, guilt that her best friend didn't know, 'I got him…'

CRASH….

The car in front stopped abruptly and Buffy and Willow crashed right into it… and that's the last thing they see.


	2. Black Out

**Black Out (2)**

An ambulance comes speeding down the road to the accident it passes the place Anya had gone and all the people looked on in wonder,

'Who died?' Anya asks as if it isn't that important, then…

Ring Ring… her cell goes of,

'Hello?' she asks,

'Hi is this an Anya Jankins?' the voice on the other end asks,

'Uh yeh who is this?'

'I regret to inform you that a Buffy Summer and Willow Rosenburg had an accident, they are both on their way to the hospital, if you could notify their families please,'

Tears fall from her face,

'Uh ye… yeh of course I… I am here with them now,' she chokes out, Spike walks up behind her a confused look on his face,

'Thank-you miss' and the man hangs up, more tears fall from her face as she hangs up she stares down the road in the direction the ambulance went,

'Anya?' Spike says putting his hand on her shoulder, Anya slowly turns round, and he sees her tear covered face,

'What's wrong, what happened?' he asks concerned,

'Bu…Buffy a…and Willow, they… they had a… an accident, they're… they're in the hospital' she slowly was able to say, Spike eyes fill with tears, and he wraps his arms around Anya, as she cries, a tear falls from his eye as he stares into the distance.

'Oh Buffy Willow I am so glad you're ok' Joyce says sitting on Buffy bed she still has tears in her eyes but now they are because she is so happy, Spike walks in,

'You're bloody lucky luv' he says and kisses her on the head, Buffy smiles slightly and looks at Willow,

'We both were' she says with a tear in her eye.

Anya, Gunn, Xander, Cordy, Angel, walk into the room,

'Oh god, their alright' Anya says sighing with relief, 'Thankgod' Xander says,

'We nearly lost you two' he says giving each a hug, Gunn runs over to Willow's bed and gives her a big hug,

'Don't do that again ok' he says, still hugging her, Willow smiles and puts her arms around him,

'Uh hunny, I need to breath' she says with a little giggle, the room laugh a little, as Gunn pulls away from the hug,

'I love you' he says, she smiles,

'I love you too'

'Hey there Buffy' Angel says walking over to her bed,

'Hi Angel' she says happily, he smiles,

'You feeling ok?' he asks, she smiles and nods, and he looks at Willow,

'Willow?' she looks at him,

'Yah I'm fine' Cordy walks over next to him,

'Good, coz you know Buffy… you still have some busy to take care off' she says smirking at Spike, Spike smiles at her then looks at Buffy, Buffy smiles,

'Don't think you're getting away from me that easy bub' she says smiling,

'Never' he says and kisses her head.

_Buffy! Buffy please don't leave me!_

Buffy shakes her head and furrows her eyebrows,

'Buffy what's wrong?' Spike asks in concern,

'Huh oh nothing' she says.

The next couples of days the gang visit Buffy and Willow in the hospital to help them get better, their bruises and broken bones were all healing well and they should be ready to leave soon, Buffy cant wait to get out for she still has her plans with Spike to do, she was so excited to be with him on the day of the accident, and now she has to wait even longer, but she don't mind as long as they are together in the end.

'Hey baby,' Spike says walking into the hospital room, Buffy smiles,

'Hey' she says happily,

'You excited about tomorrow?' he asks sitting down next to her on the bed, Willow was still asleep and so they had some privacy, she smiles at the thought of tomorrow,

'Defiantly cant wait to get out of here I hate hospitals' she says giving him a hug, he smirks,

'Well, you have something to look forward to when you get outta here' he says with a grin, she smiles lovingly, then it fades,

'I'm sorry' she says above a whisper, he looks at her confused,

'Why luv?' he asks cupping her chin her in his hand so she looks at him, a tear falls from her cheek,

'If this hadn't happened we'd be on a beach now instead of in a hospital' she says with a bit of anger, he smiles lovingly at her,

'Buffy luv, I would rather be in a hospital with you than be without you, I don't know what I would have done if you had died, I'll go crazy without you Buffy' by now her eyes were filled with tears, he smiles and kisses her cheek, she closes her eyes and lets lose the tears.

_Please, please, I love you, please wake up_

Buffy's eyes shoot open, Spike sense her feeling uncomforatable and puls out of the hug,

'Buffy what's wrong?' he asks, Buffy shakes her head and looks at him confused,

'Uh nothing, I'm just a little tired' she says, he still has a worried expression on his face, but he accepts it,

'Ok luv, get some rest, I'll be in the lounge if ya need me' with that he kisses her head softly and leaves the room.

'What's wrong with me?' she asks herself before lying down to sleep.

_CRASH, the ambulance rushes down the road to the accident, _

_'Miss Summers, Miss Summers' the voice calls out to her, she can hear the man but cant respond, her eyes tightly shut, she doesn't move, 'Miss Rosenburg, Miss Rosenburg' she hears the voice call next, a sting of worry consumes her as she slowly drifts off in the darkness._

Buffy shoots up in her bed, tears falling from her eyes, she looks around the room and sees Willow sleeping, her worry slowly leaves her body as she relaxes back in her bed, she lays her head on her hand and stares at the wall,

_What's going on, first the voices now the dream, maybe that's all it is dreams, I'm dreaming, whatelse _could _it be?_ She thinks to herself.


	3. Living Life

Living Life (3)  
  
After being in the hospital for 3 weeks now Buffy and Willow are finally being released,  
  
'Hey Willow pass me my shirt please' Buffy asked Willow, Willow passes Buffy her shirt and finishes packing up their things,  
  
'Ready to go luv?' Spike asks walking into the room, Buffy finishes packing and walks over to Spike and wraps her arms around his waist, she looks up at him and smiles,  
  
'Deffinatly' she turns to Willow, 'Will you ready to get out of this hellhole of a hospital?' she asks, Spike wraps his arms around her and kisses her neck, Willow smiles at them,  
  
'Lets go' they grab there bags and leave.  
  
Spike drives Buffy and Willow back to Buffy's house, he opens the door and the house is dark no lights on and no sign of anyone in, Buffy looks confused as does Willow, Spike turns a light on and there's a big banner saying 'Welcome Home' Buffy and Willow both have huge smiles on their faces as the music starts and there family and friends come out into the living room, Buffy hugs her mum and her friends as does Willow.  
  
Next Day...  
  
'You ready?' Willow asks as Buffy puts on her wedding dress, Buffy smiles,  
  
'Absolutely' she says Willow smiles and hugs her friend,  
  
'Hey Buffy you never told me what you got Spike' Willow says as they break the hug, Buffy goes over to the dressing table and pulls out a box, Willow walks over as Buffy opens it, she pulls out a long leather duster, Willow's eyes widen,  
  
"Wow Buffy Spike'll love it' she says Buffy smiles and puts it back in the box, she turns to look in the mirror and looks one last time at herself, she then turns to Willow and they leave the room...  
  
Spike is at the front of the alter waiting for his bride to be, as the music start everyone looks behind them to see the maid of honour, the bridesmaids and then the bride, she comes out with a long, white dress, with no Vail her hair curly and hanging over her shoulders, Spike smiles at her, and mouth 'you're beautiful' Buffy smiles and mouth 'Thank-you' she gets to the alter and he takes her hand in his, and then it begins...  
  
...  
  
' You may now kiss the bride' and they kiss, everyone claps and cheers for them and they walks down the aisle.  
  
'Wow luv,' Spike says as Buffy gives him his present, she smiles, 'I love it' he says and swings it over his shoulders, Bufy smirks,  
  
'Doesn't t really go with the suit' he tilts his head and grins,  
  
'Already thinking about undressing me ai luv' Buffy blushes slightly and giggles, he kisses her softly on the lips,  
  
I love you, so please wake up I cant live without you  
  
When they pull away from the kiss her eyes are wide and confused he looks at her with concern,  
  
"You ok luv?' she shakes her head,  
  
'Huh oh uh yeh, I'm fine' he raises an eyebrow but shrugs it of, they end the party late that day around midnight and they all head home.  
  
3 years later...  
  
'Ello luv' Spike says walking into the kitchen, she walks over to him and wraps her arms around his waist,  
  
'Hey' she kisses him on the lips softly, and he grins, there's a knock at the door, Spike rolls his eyes unable to go any further with his wife, she giggles,  
  
' Think there's somebody at the door' he grins at her and raises an eyebrow,  
  
'Lets ignore them, where were we' Buffy giggles and unwraps her arms from his waist, and walks to the door,  
  
"Hey Willow, Oz' Willow and Oz smile and Buffy moves aside to let them in,  
  
'Hey red, Oz' Spike says coming into the living room, Willow and Oz, sit down and Spike flops on the chair and grabs Buffy's hand and pulls her down onto him, Willow smiles at them, Buffy smiles too, then looks at them,  
  
"So what's the what?' she asks, Willow shrugs,  
  
'Nothing really we just came to visit, we're in town, visiting friends but we'll have to get back to LA, tomorrow' Willow explains,  
  
'Oh ok, well you're welcome to stay here if you need somewhere to stay' Spike pouts and Buffy notices and hits his stomach with her elbow, he groans and Buffy giggles, Willow giggles too as does Oz, Spike grins evilly, then bites down on Buffy's neck softly, Buffy giggles then scrunches her neck to stop, him, Spike smirks, and stops, Willow decides to carry on,  
  
'No that's ok Buff, Oz has an apartment here in town and we'll be staying there' she says motioning to Oz, Oz nods,  
  
'Ok Will, but promise you'll come round before you leave' Buffy says, Willow nods and jumps up from the seat,  
  
'Will do' Buffy gets up from Spike lap and gives her and Oz and hug then they leave.  
  
Spike walks over to Buffy and wraps his arms around her waist pulling her close, Buffy leans into him, and smiles, he kisses her neck, and she turns round in his embrace, and kisses him softly on the lips, Spike deepens it, and lifts her up into his arms, she wraps her legs around his waist, and wraps her arms around his neck, she pulls away for air, and smiles, he puts her down and they walk back into the kitchen.  
  
That night Buffy falls asleep, the voice that has been going through her head came again that night but this time it was different...  
  
Buffy, I'm so sorry, but I cant do this anymore, I love you to much to keep seeing you like this, I know you'll wake up but I don't know when, I know you'd want me to move on so... I am, I'm sorry I love you and I always will but I have to move on, I'm leaving Buffy.  
  
Buffy wakes up suddenly and looks around her room, sweat on her forehead and she's shaking, she looks to her side and sees Spike sleeping peacefully, she takes a deep breath, and lays back down,  
  
'Its just a dream... that's been going on for 3 years now since...' her eyes widen, '... the accident' she sits up in her bed again, and thinks to herself,  
  
'Whatever it is it said its leaving so it should stop' she lays back down and closes her eyes, and falls into a peaceful sleep. 


	4. Realisation dawns

**Realisation dawns (4)**

Its been 1 year since she's heard the voices and had the dreams, she feels fine and her life is perfect, Spike and her had a baby boy which they named James, he's 2 month old which light blond hair and bluey green eyes.

'Hey sweetie' Buffy says walking into the living room where Spike is holding James,

'Hey Babe' he hands Buffy James and sits her down on his lap, with James on hers, they turn the TV onto cartoons channels and watches as James's eyes are glued to the TV, soon after he is fast asleep on his mothers lap, Buffy slowly stands up and takes him upstairs to bed, she comes back down to find Spike sprawled out on the couch watching TV, she walks into the living room and sits in between his legs, and lays her head on his chest, he strokes her hair softly, as she draws imaginary patterns in his chest with her finger, after an hour the TV, is off and Buffy has fallen asleep Spike is watching her sleep, when he decides to take her to bed, he picks her up and she moans at the sudden moving, she flutters her eyes open to see she is being carried by Spike up the stairs he smiles down at her and finally gets to their room, he lays her down on the bed and sits down next to her, she curls up into him, both still dressed and falls back to sleep, Spike following soon after.

'Think its time to believe that its over she's been like this for 4 years, longest anyone has stayed like it for, time to let her go'

Buffy shoots up in her bed at the voices that have returned she looks around her room with tears in her eyes, Spike shuffles in his sleep and wakes slowly seeing she is awake and looking scared he wraps an arm around her waist,

'Luv, what's wrong?' he asks, Buffy takes a deep breath and sighs, she looks at him and smiles,

'Nothing bad dream' she lays back down curling up in his embrace, she closes her eyes and falls back to sleep.

'Give another week, her family still have hope...'

'Alright'

Buffy eyes move under her eyelids, she slowly starts to move in her bed, she feels the side of the bed for Spike but no ones there, she slowly open her eyes, when she looks at her surroundings she shoots up in her bed and tears fill her eyes,

'Wh... what, where am I?' she asks herself as tears fall from her eyes, a male nurse runs into the room, and with wide eyes a small smile appears on his lips,

'Your awake' he gasps out, he's been this sleeping beauty since she fell into her coma 4 years ago, Buffy looks at him confused and scared,

'Wh... what where am I? What the hell is going on, where's Spike?' she ask with tears falling down her cheeks, the MN edges near her and puts out his arm,

'Miss Summers, Buffy, you're in the hospital, you've been in a coma for the last 4 years, and Spike... he... he's gone' he says reaching for her shoulder, Buffy flinches at his touch and more tears fall,

'What?, no that's not true I... I haven't been in a...' her eyes widen as all her dreams and all the voices rush into her head, she drops her head into her hands and her eyes fill with tear after tear as she cries silently, the MN stands closer to her,

'Bu...Buffy, you're very lucky, if... if you hadn't of woken up the end of the week...' she lifts her head, and looks at him,

'You would have pulled the plug' she finishes remembering her last dream, he nods sadly, she sniffs back her tears and starts to get out the hospital bed,

'Uh Buffy you shouldn't move so soon' the doctor advises Buffy looks at him,

'Ha yeh I haven't moved for the past 4 years why start now right' she says bitterly, she looks down, 'I'm sorry' she says quietly, the MN nods and smiles,

'It's ok Buffy, you've been through a lot,' he says, she finally crawls out of bed, and stands on her wobbly legs, which feels weird because in her 'dreams' it was so easy and normal, she leans on the bad as the MN comes round to help her,

'I should call your family, they'll be so happy, their the ones who kept you alive, if the hospital had their way you'd be...' he stops himself from saying the word, and carries on, 'Well they fought for you' he finishes Buffy smiles sadly,

'Ok go' she says pulling away from him, he walks to the door and looks back at her,

'I'm glad you're ok, I've been in everyday to check on you, you're the strongest woman I've ever met' he says before walking out the door, Buffy flops back down on the bed, tears forming again in her eyes,

'Spike... Spikes gone' she says swallowing the lump in her throat, as her tears fall from her eyes once again.

After 15mintues of being on the phone and calming Buffy's family, he walks back into the room, to find that she isn't in the bed or anywhere in the room, he looks around worried and walks around the hospital to find her, finally he comes to the hospital dining room and sees her eating a load of food at a table, he smiles and walks over to her,

'You know you shouldn't be wondering around on your own and so soon' he says sitting next to her, she smiles slightly,

'Got hungry' she says taking another bite out of her sandwich, he smiles,

'I bet you are, you haven't eaten for a long time' he says sadly, she smiles,

'Well to me I only ate yesterday' she says with a slight laugh, he looks at her confused but just laying it down to not realising how long she was in the coma for, she finishes her sandwich and her drink and stands up to leave, he follows her to her room,

'Your family will be here as soon as they can' he tells her, she sits down on her bed and sighs,

'Thanx' she says, he sits next to her concerned,

'Are you ok... I mean I know you just got out a coma so of course you're not but, you seem I dunno not there' he says trying to explain himself as good as possible, she looks at him,

'What's your name?' she asks changing the subject,

'Riley' the MN says, but then carries on with what he asked, 'Now what's wrong?' he asks agin, Buffy sighs,

'Do... you know what happened to Spike?' she asks with fear in her voice, Riley looks down and sighs heavily,

'He... he left, 3 years after you feel into the coma, he visited everyday for those three years, but one day he broke and he couldn't stand seeing you like that any more, so he left' Riley explains, Buffy's eyes fill with tears again,

'So... so he left last year right I mean 4 years in a coma 3 years waiting for me to wake up so lat year he left?' she asks fighting back to tears, Riley nods,

'Yeah' he says Buffy takes a deep breath and lets it out,

'I... I remember' she says, Riley looks up at her confused,

'What?' he asks, she sighs again and looks down,

'I... I heard him say goodbye, I... I heard a lot of him for 3 years, then it stopped, the voices and the dreams stopped, I... I thought I was going cr...crazy, that the accident made me... but it was real, I...I was dreaming for 4 years.' By now she has broken down in tears, Riley looks at her then it hits him, she had been in a state of catatonia for 4 years, dreaming, and the dream probably seemed so real to her, he watches as she cries from the memories then the door rushes open and her mother Joyce Summers rushing through, she runs to her daughter and wraps her arms around her tightly, Buffy stops crying and wraps her arms around her mum missing her so much even though to her she had only seen her a week ago well in her dreams, her eyes cry with unshed tears, as her mother pulls away from the hug and looks at her, she kisses her head,

'Oh Buffy, I missed you so much' she says, Buffy smiles,

'I love you mum' she says, they hug again,

'I love you to hunny' she says, Riley steps out the room to greet the rest of the family, Dawn was crying from the news of her sister waking, she walks slowly through the door and se her mum and sister hugging she runs up to Buffy and throws her arms around her, Buffy wraps her arms around her sister,

'Dawnie' she says while hugging her, Dawns eyes dry and she looks at her sister,

'I'm so glad you're awake' she says Buffy smiles,

'Me too'

Two days later, Xander walks in, Buffy notices a lot had changed from when she last saw him or thought she saw him, his hair was longer, his shirt was scruffy and ruffled, his chin was hairy from him not shaving, he walks through the room and Buffy gets up to give him a hug she hugs him tightly and he does the same, she pulls away and looks at him,

'What happened to you Xander?' she asks worried, he sighs,

'Nothing' he walks back out the room without another word, or smile, she goes to follow him but Dawn walks in after he left, she looks at Buffy who has a confused expression on her face,

'He's been like that since the accident, he couldn't live with what happened to you and Willow' she says Buffy eyes widen,

'Willow?' she whispers, Dawn looks at her and realises she doesn't know, she takes her hand and walks over to the bed and sits next to her,

'Buffy you don't know do you? What happened that day?' she asks, Buffy shakes her head slightly, she can see tears form in Dawns eyes,

'Buffy, Willow and you got into a car crash, you went into a coma, and Willow...' she looks down and a tear falls from her eye, 'She... she was hurt bad, she... she didn't make it Buffy, she's dead' Dawn explains, Buffy eyes widen and tears fall straight away from her eyes,

'What?' she says barely above a whisper, 'No, Willow,' she drops her head into her hands, and Dawn wraps her arms around her and gives sister a hug,

'Shhh Buffy, it's ok' she says soothingly, Buffy looks up,

'What... how did Gunn take it?' she asks, still fighting back tears, Dawn looks down,

'He... he left, he couldn't stay, we... we haven't heard from him since no one knows where he is, he just took off' she explains, Buffy nods and another tear falls, she sniffs back the rest, and stands,

'I... I need to talk to Xander' she says walking towards the door, she sees Xander sitting in a chair staring off to space, she sits down next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder, he looks at her blankly,

'Xander?' Buffy says, 'Xander I'm so sorry' she says fighting back the urge to cry again, Xander doesn't say anything, his eyes fill with tears and he wraps his arms around her again,

'You're alive' he says like he hadn't realised, Buffy hugs him tightly,

'Yeh I am, Xander I am, I am so sorry, I love you' she says, he pulls away from the hug a little more with it now,

'I love you Buffy, don't ever do that again' she laughs a little and he smiles, Dawns eyes shoot open at the sight of his smile, he hadn't smiled for 4 years everything with him was all down hill since the accident he lost his 2 best friends in the accident and his best mates Gunn and Spike had took off, he was alone and never tried to fix his life, she smiled at the site of two best friends reunited.


	5. AN

A/N 

Thanks for all the reviews I will write more but I am working on my new story Alternate Dimensions soon bleed together I will keep writing this story but it may take a little while but I will get it done.


	6. Authors Note

I know it has been a long time but I have only just found my password for the site and have decided to try and continue the story. However I will only do this if I know people would like me to. So please leave me a review telling if you would like me to continue the story.

Thankyou


	7. Starting Over

Chapter 5

Starting over

Anya rushes through the door to the house she had been living in for the past 4 years to find no-one home.

"Joyce! Dawn!" she calls. She walks through the house calling more quietly now searching for them. She reaches the phone and sees that there is a message, she clicks play.

"Miss Summers, this is the hospital. Buffy's awake…" Anyas eyes widen with shock, she clicks the end button and runs to the doors grabbing her keys and heads to the hospital.

Buffy was now allowed to walk around the hospital, although walking wasn't as easy as she remembered it being. Having been lying on her back for 4 years her legs had lost their ability to support her weight. Xander holds onto one arm while Dawn holds the other. Joyce is with Riley while he explains everything about her daughters condition.

"She will need to rest, her muscles need to have time to strengthen. Regular exercise will help but don't over do it… and… she mentioned how she had been dreaming while she was… she heard everything people said, she heard Spike leave. I believe this may cause some emotional problems for her. She had believed she was ok her dream life was real to her and now. She may have trouble adjusting." She struggles to explain to the already traumatised mother.

"Will she be ok doctor?" she asks, Riley nods,

"Yes physically she should be fine very soon, but as I said emotionally, it may take time." Joyce nods and smiles,

"We're just happy she's back, we'll take care of whatever happens when it happens." She says thanking Riley then walking back to her daughter. "Good news, we can take you home." She says recalling the very beginning of her conversation with Riley. Buffy smiles, then remembers Spike was gone.

'_Home? Where is home now? Spikes gone. Where do I have to go?'_

Joyce sensed Buffy uneasiness,

"Your room is still yours, we'd planned for you to come back home if…when you woke up??" she asks more of a question. Buffy forces a smile,

"Thanks, that'd be great."

"Buffy!" a squeal from down the calls echoes to her ears. The group turn towards the voice and see an exhausted Anya run down towards them.

"Anya" Buffy speaks quietly. Anya rushes towards her and pulls her into a gently hug… or as gently as she could manage. Buffys miles softly,

"Hey Ahn" Anya releases her and wipes the tears from her eyes.

"Bout time," she says doing her usual thing of lightning the mood. Buffy smiles loving how Anya could make everyone smile even about the gloomiest subjects. Buffy sighs and looks around at her friends.

"Lets go home," she says sadly.

'_Goodbye Spike, I love you, take care of James.'_ Her mental voice speaks saying goodbye to her dream life and family, knowing she will never be able to go back.


	8. Where you belong

Chapter 8 – Where you belong

It has been a week since Buffy woke up from her coma, her friends, Xander and Anya have been staying at the Summers house ever since then trying to help Buffy fit back into her life. Throughout the week Buffy kept wishing that Spike would come back and bring James with him, but every day had turned out t be a disappointment. Today is Wednesday, Dawn is at school, Anya at work as was Joyce, leaving Buffy and Xander alone to talk.

"So how you feeling Buff?" Xander asks walking into her room, where she is sitting on her window still staring out at the world, she takes in a long breathe and turns to see him walking over to the window to stand behind her,

"Well I'm alive," she says simply, with no feeling of happiness in her voice. Xander puts a hand on her shoulder,

"You miss him still, don't you" he says more of a statement than a question. Buffys eyes fill with tears as she remembers her last night with Spike, or at least what she thought was the last night with him,

'_Hey sweetie' Buffy says walking into the living room where Spike is holding James,_

'_Hey Babe' he hands Buffy James and sits her down on his lap, with James on hers, they turn the TV onto cartoons channels and watches as James's eyes are glued to the TV, soon after he is fast asleep on his mothers lap, Buffy slowly stands up and takes him upstairs to bed, she comes back down to find Spike sprawled out on the couch watching TV, she walks into the living room and sits in between his legs, and lays her head on his chest, he strokes her hair softly, as she draws imaginary patterns in his chest with her finger, after an hour the TV, is off and Buffy has fallen asleep Spike is watching her sleep, when he decides to take her to bed, he picks her up and she moans at the sudden moving, she flutters her eyes open to see she is being carried by Spike up the stairs he smiles down at her and finally gets to their room, he lays her down on the bed and sits down next to her, she curls up into him, both still dressed and falls back to sleep, Spike following soon after._

"Yeh, I do." Xander nods knowingly, having missed Buffy for the years she was in a coma and still missed Willow,

"I'm sorry Buff," Buffy continues to look out the window,

"I miss Willow, why couldn't she be here instead of me," she says quietly the tears beginning to fall, Xander sits down next to her.

"We all miss Willow, but Buffy she wouldn't want that, you know that. You know how religious she was, she's up their with the goddesses looking down on now." Buffy smiles despite herself,

"Yeh, she never did believe god was a man," she looks at Xander and sees how happy he is, probably because she was smiling, "I just her, I feel like I've woken up and everything is different, like this isn't where I belong," Xander takes her in his arms and holds her in a gentle embrace,

"This is where you belong Buffy, things are different now, but your strong and I know you will be able to deal with it," Buffy smiles softly, but her eyes show that she doesn't believe what Xander as saying.

_Sorry Xander but I wont, and I don't want to. I just want to go back to sleep, be back with Spike and James, that's where I belong._


	9. Another dream

Ok not long now a couple more chapters and then it'll all be over so enjoy. I hope you like how I end it as I have had trouble thinking of a decent ending.

Chapter 9 – Another dream

That morning Buffy opened her eyes to a bright room, her room at her mothers house, the sun was shining through the window illuminating the room with a arm glow. A small smile creeps onto her face as she sits up in bed and stretches,

"Here we go again," she says as she gets out of bed and begins her morning routine of washing, dressing, and hair. She smiles satisfied with how she looks then heads down stairs, filling the entire bottom floor of the house was the smell of pancakes, and many different flavours of toppings,

"Morning," she says as she walks into the kitchen to find Dawn sitting on a stall eating a plate full of pancakes with strawberry sauce lemon juice and blueberry toppings on each, Anya was helping Joyce serve the pancakes while Joyce herself finished making them,

"Good morning sweetie, how you feeling this morning?" she asks as she does every morning since Buffy woke from her coma, Buffy smiles and sits down next to Dawn taking her plate of pancakes,

"OK, I had a lovely dream last night," she blurts out without thinking,

"Oh, what about?" Joyce asks, Anya siles widely,

"Was it a sex dream, there the best kind," Dawn rolls her eyes having got used to Anyas obsession with sex from the years that nya had lived there, Buffy smiles softly,

"No Ayn, Spike was in it," and with that everything stopped, Anya stopped serving, Joyce stopped Making and Dawn stopped eating. Buffy looked round at them questioningly, "What?" she asks innocently, Joyce sighs and walks round to her daughter,

"Sweet heart, I'm worried about all these dreams about Spike, it seems he's all you dream about now, I think I'd be best if… if you went to see a psychiatrist" Buffy frowns at the suggestion then looks at her sister and Anya who appear to be in agreement,

"What? Just because I am dreaming about the man I was going to marry before I was put into a coma you want me to go see a shrink," she says angrily. Joyce shakes her head,

"No sweet heart, it's just, when you were in a coma you were dreaming bout him we just don't… we don't want you to go back into a coma because of these dreams," she explains. Buffy frowns a little confused,

"Could that happen?" she asks interested. Joyce closes her eyes sadly,

"I spoke to the doctor the other day when you first told us about your dreams, he said that because your mind was playing your life out how you wanted it in your coma, if the need was great enough your mind could shut down again, you could slip back into a coma." By now Buffy was speechless, her mind was thinking so many different thoughts that she couldn't focus on any of them, "Buffy?" her mum prompts, Buffy shakes her head trying to pull herself out of all her thoughts,

"Yes, yes sorry. Ok."

"Great you're booked for Wednesday at 3:30pm" Joyce says happily and gets back to finishing breakfast. Buffy just nods her head slightly and a faint smile appears on her lips.

I know short chapter I'll try and get the next one up shortly.


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